Tuesday, May 17, 2011

as the world turns...visions of pink slips dance in their heads

So plans have likely changed overnight. Looks like I'm losing my job...thanks to budget cuts and who knows what else at play. My resume reads like ADHD...job for a year here, year there, year everywhere. PhD likely on hold. Pink slips...three's a charm? This is my third...lucky me. http://www.playlist.com/playlist/additem/332251409

I'm in quite a murky mood today which is understandable. I am supposed to give a presentation about CAHSEE scores to the board tomorrow, minutes before the closed session where my non-existence is confirmed. I also said, before I knew of such status, that I'd review the student satisfaction survey and make graphs and tables to present to WASC. I wrote those darned surveys so I'm curious of the results but yet I don't want to see them because then I'd end up working for a place that fired me, terminated me, whatever you wish to call it. I had asked, before this "news" when I needed to come in this week. In my "sorry you're a goner" email my boss said to come in Wednesday. I can think of nothing more unappealing or undesirable right now. I have to pack up all my junk and leave and heck I should be a pro at this now but I'm not. I've been there for three years and it hurts. And now I don't know what the future holds as I was working part time which allowed me some time with my infant son which is something I hold dearly. Anyways I am rambling and emotionally upset so I will stop blogging this post. The rest of my family is taking this better than I. And I even kind of sensed this conclusion and it was like a relationship that had fizzled..I felt the fizzle and it was part "me"..I just didn't feel as passionate. But the "break up" is still just as tough. And while it is budget cuts at fault, it is hard not to take it personal. especially when at graduation i was the only staff member not mentioned, and staff that was let go last year attended and they got recognition. lovely.

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